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February 22, 2004
Those Corporate Pigs
I?d Rather be Writing
Writing is my out. I?ve always considered it my out. It was what I did when I needed to relax, exercise my imagination, and forget about the real world for a while. But it is more than that.
Nothing else excites me. When I sit down to work on my creative writing?at my desk, or on the couch, or at the kitchen table, holding my notebook and pen, balancing my laptop, or typing away on my ergonomically correct keyboard?nothing else gives me the same rush of excitement. Of course, nothing else makes me look over what I?ve written the next day and groan, ?It?s not beautiful?it all sucks!? either, but it?s worth it all the same. Shouldn?t a person?s job be exciting to them?
Instead I?m bound by the laws of American culture. I bend to the capitalistic notions that invest even the air we breathe. Part of it is about money. Let?s face it, writing for a living doesn?t always pay the bills, buy the latest and greatest gadgets of technology, or pay for a new car. There are those who get lucky, and there are the rest of us, who wish and hope and pray for it. The other part is about status. Tell someone you finish drywall for a living and they automatically assume you?re either a high school drop out or barely made it, stuck in a job like that because it was your highest potential. But a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer?just about any of the white collar professions?the sky?s the limit! Education equals intelligence and potential, not always the case, and a suit and title equal a respectable paycheck, again not always the case, which in turn equals integrity and worth?do I need to say it? Not always the case. How blind are these congregations that prefer to see and believe in the bottom line! Life is being wasted and passing them by and they don?t even realize it.
The congregations I?m referring to are corporations. Those soulless institutions that control our culture and spread propaganda to make us believe it isn?t a real job or career if it isn?t for one of them. Those corporate pigs, they look you as though they own a piece of you; however, it isn?t true. They steal that piece which you graciously let them borrow, or rent, and then they call it life.
?Work with us and we?ll make all your dreams comes true!?
But how?
?We?ll provide you with opportunities for advancement, challenges, and responsibilities, plus a comprehensive benefit package, retirement plan, and money?don?t forget the money! There?s a lot of money to be made in this business.?
They forget to mention they?ll be outsourcing my job overseas in a year or two.
More importantly, none of it matters to me or excites me. I am not motivated by the usual opportunities for advancement, challenges, and responsibilities of a ?real? job. I?ve certainly never been excited by the opportunities for advancement, challenges, and responsibilities of a ?real? job. Writing in itself is a challenge; making sure I do it everyday is a responsibility. Trying to improve my skills, define my voice, and perfect my craft, those are both challenges and responsibilities. Writing is also damn exciting for me.
If I have to give in to those corporate pigs and support the filth their selling?sure, I only work part time, but still?I?ll sacrifice my life right now. If I had kids, I?m sure I would feel differently, but I don?t, so the sky?s the limit.
If I chucked it all now, money would be tight, but hey, there are ways to save money.
I have plenty of clothes, all in good condition. I?ve already gone a year without shopping, and two years without buying new jeans, I bet I can get a few more years wear out of them; and there is always Christmas. . . .
I think we can take care of the basic expenses, utilities and all that. The cable and cell phones would have to go, but I would still live, no problem. My darling husband might be able to live with these arrangements, I?m sure he would consider strangling me at least once during the day, but he might be willing to put up with it. A predefined standard of living, especially when you?ve already lived it, can be hard to let go of; it took me four years.
Food? I?ve heard the human body can go forty days without food as long as there is plenty of water, and Steve and I are planning a massive garden this year. Peas, corn, broccoli, asparagus (though it won?t be ready for another year?damn it!), summer squash, zucchini, brussel sprouts, green beans, cucumbers, carrots, lettuce, peppers, tomatoes, chives, watermelon, cantaloupe, and shitloads of herbs. I?ve never been a vegetarian, or considered becoming one, but hey, meat?s expensive. We can even make our own bread. Give me some pasta and I?ll be set, at least until the winter. Maybe even through the winter, if I figure out how to can.
Shelter? Ha! If worse comes to worse, we can sell the house and I move in with my mother. She might not like it, but she?d still take me in. She?s got Internet, too, so I won?t need to worry about that. I could probably get a job at Barnes & Noble or something as hassle-free as that (I?d be surrounded by books!), to make enough money to cover my car payment. Food would be taken care of as well. I say I because if we actually lost the house because I chucked it all, Steve would be moving to his own apartment. . . .
I could do it. I could get away from the ?real? jobs that the world, or at least America, has to offer and concentrate exclusively on my writing. It might speed of the process of getting published. I would have more time to research markets and put together and send submissions. It would definitely give me more time to be excited, not just about writing, but also working on the challenges and responsibilities most important to me.
Alas, I?ll suck it up and continue for just a little while longer, if only to protect my darling husband and compromise for his consideration. After all, it can be pretty unsettling to lose your whole way of life for someone else?s desire. I?ll work on my writing as much as I can and as hard as I can, give only the time and energy I feel I can give to the rest, and wish and hope and pray I?ll start making a living as a writer.
Oh, look at me. I?ve rambled on long enough! Someone?s going to think I have issues.
Posted by mary at February 22, 2004 1:43 AM
Comments
"I don?t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don?t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don?t want to do that."
— Lloyd Dobler
You should read an essay by Michael Ventura called "Someone is Stealing Your Life". It?s an interesting take on what we really get out of the working world.
I think your frustration stems from two things that I've observed over the years. One is that, especially in America, we tend to define ourselves by what we ?do for a living?. How many times have you been introduced to someone at a social gathering and asked ?What do you do?? I know I've been asked that question countless times over the years. Try mixing up your answer sometimes and see the results you get. Yes, part of that question is the desire for an easy conversation starter, but why not ?What is your favorite hobby?? or ?What is your passion?? I'll tell you why not, because most people have (I think often unconscious) belief that what you do somehow says something about who you are.
The other problem is that, quite frankly, it's nearly impossible to make a living in America as an artist. Whether your art is writing, painting, sculpting, filmmaking, music, it doesn't matter. Our society pays lip service to the arts, but the foundation is simply not there. God forbid that your ?art' should in any way challenge social conventions as well, because there is certainly no room for risk in our society.
But I do have to say that I disagree with you on one point. You can sacrifice all the creature comforts which do, in a way, own you rather than you owning them. However, I don't think it really increases your chance of ?success' at all. Depending on how you define success, of course. You may be happier with your work, but I doubt you will increase your chances of making a living off of your work. If you really want to make a living off of your work, then kiss ass. It's not what you know, it's who you know. I think sacrifice is the key to being a successful person, but it's not material or creature comforts you have to sacrifice, it's dignity.
Posted by: -Dave! at February 22, 2004 11:15 PM